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HOW TO DO MASTERS OF NLP
On the basis of "Trance-formations" by John Grinder and Richard Bandler wrote Lech Debski
NLP is famous for its highly effective techniques that enable you to quickly make changes. What's more, these changes do not need to be in the privacy of psychotherapy offices. NLP can be used literally on the street, would significantly change people's lives with whom we encounter. Let's see how he did co-creator John Grinder NLP. Once
John Grinder, visited his friend in Southern California. A friend just seemed to adopt, so John went to the store to buy a few bottles of champagne.
In the shop he saw an old woman buying wine. Grinder immediately realized that the woman abuses alcohol, recognizing the distinctive appearance of the skin for alcoholics, the degree of muscle tension, breathing and posture. Was low, was about 65 years old, but looked old. While John pożartował saleswoman with a friend, a woman interjected in the conversation, saying something funny, so that all three of them laughed.
When John came out of the store, an elderly woman asked: "Do you by chance you are not passing along the street next to the post office?"
"I am pleased Mrs. podwiozę.'ll Wait in the car," said John.
while driving the woman clutched her hands, looking at John. It was clear that he wants to say something. Finally she asked, "Why are you drinking?"
Grinder with difficulty refrain from laughing, because, of course, the woman wondered why she drinks. He replied: "Well, personally I drink the same flavor. I drink a dry wine and drinking champagne. Not like the taste of whiskey, so I do not drink it. I drink a beer to cool off when I'm on the beach." And then he said: "But this is not a question that you really want to ask me. The question I want to ask is" Why do you drink? "
woman burst into tears, because what he said Grinder perfectly reflected her experience.
In this situation, most people would try to calm her down. Most therapists would encourage her to continue crying, assuming that it is worthwhile to fully express their emotions. Grinder had acted differently. It found that crying is not a useful response to this situation, neither for her nor for him. He showed the wałęsającego the dog outside the car and loudly shouted, "LOOK! OR IS YOUR DOG?" To stop her crying.
Surprised woman answered in a very coherent to the question Grinder. Looked outside, then looked at John and disoriented, said: "But I do not even have a dog." She stopped crying, however, What was the result of a Grinder wanted to get through this maneuver.
Grinder Then tell her story.
"You know, this dog reminds me of the little dog-whom I knew very little doggie, who lived in San Francisco. This doggie believed that nobody in the world does not understand it. That's what she told me this doggie, and almost was right. Because it was true because almost nobody in the world so its not really understand. And the doggie did not know that there is a great difference between that nobody understands and that almost nobody understands. " Woman again she cried.
story told by Grinder in a metaphorical way reflects what you probably experienced old alcoholic in your life: solitude and a lack of understanding from other people. It introduced a new idea: that there are people who still understand it.
After some time the woman said to John: "You're right, the question is" Why do I drink? "
" And even this is a bad question, "said Grinder." Throughout life people have asked you this question, and the same also zadawałaś question, "Why do I drink?" . Everyone said, 'Why are you drinking? ", but it is only introduced you in error. not only asked me a wrong question, but also zadawałaś itself the wrong question for the past 30 years. All around you are asking the wrong question, and introduced you to an error, because thy have focused attention on the question, and this is not the right question, which you should ask yourself. "
What goal would get the Grinder? In addition to further confirmation of her experience and the introduction of light confusion, he obtained what Erickson called "capacity-building needs." Now all her attention and curiosity was focused on the unknown, "the right question.
drove to her house. Grinder parked, she looked at him and first asked him the question "Who are you really you?" John just smiled. Then she said: "Can you tell me what is the right question?"
At this point, was prepared to accept everything it says Grinder. Previous confirmation of its experience and capacity building needs have opened it to the change which had taken place.
Grinder said: "I will tell you under one condition. The condition is this: when I'm done talking stretch out my hand and touch your arm. When you feel my touch on the arm get up, go out of the car, go home and begin to discover answers to the question that you ask. And when you find the answer, call me. "I gave her the phone of his friend.
She said," Well, I agree. "He then said:" The question is not: "Why are you drinking?" appropriate question (speaking slowly) what would you do if you had not drank? "
All women look instantly changed. Her face began to change the word, changed her breath, skin color and attitude. It was the effect that he wanted to get Ginder. So far the woman has never considered what she did that instead of drinking. Came in a fairly deep trance. A few minutes later John touched her arm, she woke up a little and went home.
John went to a friend. Five minutes later the phone rang, of course it was a woman. She said: "Is it really you? ... I wanted to tell you that today you saved my life. I wanted to go home and commit suicide. But I found that simply do not know what is the answer to that question is that on me. I do not know what This is important for you, ale to jest najpiękniejsze pytanie na świecie."
Grinder odparł: "Nie obchodzi mnie czy ci się spodobało to pytanie, ani czy uważasz, że jest najpiękniejsze pytanie na świecie. To mnie nie interesuje. Interesuje mnie odpowiedź na to pytanie. I zadzwoń do mnie jutro by podać mi kilka odpowiedzi na to pytanie."
W którymś momencie rozmowy kobieta użyła wspaniałego idiomu. Powiedziała: "Czułam, że trafię do rynsztoka" Grinder odpowiedział: "Ludzie nie trafiają do rynsztoka. Inne rzeczy tam trafiają!" I oczywiście, gdy kobieta zadzwoniła następnego dnia, okazało się, że spuściła into the gutter all the alcohol in the home.
Grinder stayed in that town for two weeks and knows that at that time saw no woman. Of course, nobody knows how it unfolded further its fate, but even in the AA movement stresses the importance of "reach bottom" - a life-changing event that is causing an alcoholic and that on the path of sobriety.
worth noting that what he did in Grinder work with this woman, was conversational variety of procedures known in NLP reformulation in six steps (six step reframing). This technique is based on the assumption that every behavior lies some positive intention and the intention to separate from the behavior. The same behavior can be harmful (eg drinking alcohol), but behind this behavior is a positive intention (ie willingness to relax and find relief.) The crux of reformulation is to bring people to find other, better ways to achieve this positive intention. In short: "What would you do if you had not drank?"
When John Grinder saw an opportunity to use their skills of NLP, it did so without hesitation. Daily life provides many opportunities to positively influence people around us. Just so happened to decide carefully observe their reactions and experimenting with NLP methods until we find the desired changes in their lives.
On the basis of "Trance-formations" by John Grinder and Richard Bandler wrote Lech Debski.
source of the article:
HOW TO DO MASTERS OF NLP
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NLP Hawaii
Tags: neurolinguistic programming
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